Sunday, February 23, 2014

Shirby's Laws

Undeniable laws of nature set down in print for the first time. 

There is no non-disgusting way to throw out gum.

You will always be able to find the episode of Saved by the Bell where Zack has a knee operation somewhere on TV if you look hard enough.

Nobody is socially confident in an elevator.

When listening to music on shuffle:
If you do not skip any song, you can tolerate all of them.
As soon as you skip one song, you skip 95% of them.
If someone else is listening, you skip 99.8% of them.

Dry glitter will become glitter glue when it makes contact with skin or floor.

The optimal amount of Chicken McNuggets to eat in one sitting is, unfortunately, seven.

It is physically impossible to win the bonus round of Supermarket Sweep.

Reading this sentence will make your eye itchy.

Chocolate Milk through a straw tastes 17x better than Chocolate Milk not through a straw.

1 comment:

Benji said...

I agree with many of Shirby Laws, however, the last one is incorrect. In fact, science has proven that the best way to drink chocolate milk is with a metal spoon. Yes, it is labor intensive. But it is more delicious than a straw any day of the week.

Thoughts? Comments? Critiques? Opinions?